By William Jiang, MLS
Might There Be a Link Between Learning and Depression?
As September and the fall semester begins, I remember the rush I had as a university student caught up in the swirl of energy of my fellow students and myself, more than twenty years ago now. A smile lights up my face as I recall, and then I think of a dark joke that my brother taught me his freshman year at MIT. A professor stands in front of a window after leading a tour around the campus, and he asks the students, “Do you know why MIT’s colors are gray and red?” All the freshmen students shake their heads. Just then, outside of the window, everybody sees a body falling to the cement below. “That’s why.” says the professor.
MIT has a higher suicide rate than the national average, but the joke reflects an underlying truth about campus life all over the United States. According to Collegedegreesearch.net, there are about 1,100 suicides on campuses around the USA each year, and, shockingly, six percent of all undergraduates have seriously considered suicide. Why is contemplating suicide so common among university students these days? A lot of stress, abuse of drugs and alcohol, as well as underlying clinical depression and anxiety are risk factors. Even if you are a learning machine, my advice is to take time to smell those roses because too much stress will take down even an ubermensch gifted student.
The Statistics
One in four Americans suffer from a serious mental illness during their lifetimes, most often depression or anxiety. Serious mental health issues can be triggered by the stress of university or years of workaholism. It is no coincidence that depression is soon to become the number one cause of long-term death and disability worldwide by 2020, according to the World Health Organization.
Reading and Mental Illness
University students read a lot. Problem? Maybe. Even high-achieving readers are predisposed to bouts of melancholia, according to medical history. Before the 19th century, doctors thought that the mere act of reading books could cause mental instability. See “A Text-book on mental diseases” by Theodore H. Kellogg. Also, see Wikipedia’s article on the history of depression: “Since Aristotle, melancholia had been associated with men of learning and intellectual brilliance, a hazard of contemplation and creativity.”
According to the Census of 1890 about one percent of one percent of the population or one in ten thousand people in all of the United States had a hospitalization for depression. Today approximately one in seven people in the US suffers from clinical depression and the rate keeps going up. In 1890 few people had the opportunity to educate themselves beyond a basic level of reading, writing, and arithmetic. Today, one in four people in the U.S. is a college graduate. As rates of college graduation go up year to year, so do the figures of people becoming clinically depressed. The question becomes, “What can be done to stay healthy?”
Protection: Omega-3 Fish Oil and the Prevention of Clinical Depression
I worked as a medical library chief at the leading psychiatric hospital in the United States, New York State Psychiatric Institute/Columbia Psychiatry, so I have a bad habit of quoting Medline to prove points. From the electronic publication Oxidative Medicine and Cellular Longevity, March 18, 2014, there is a journal article titled “Omega-3 fatty acids and depression: scientific evidence and biological mechanisms” wherein the abstract states that “..several epidemiological studies reported a significant inverse correlation between intake of oily fish and depression or bipolar disorders.” Free full text of the article is available to anyone who wishes to explore the article in more depth at pubmed.gov.
Back when I was an undergraduate, we did not know as much as we do today about the science behind a healthy brain and body, so we can do much more today than before to keep our minds and bodies healthy. Paradoxically, college students are less fit and more prone to suicide than ever before. According to Collegedegreesearch.net suicide rates for our youth are three times what they were back in the 1950’s, and diabetes rates are going through the roof among the Internet Generation.
I gave only one tip in this article about how to keep your brain healthy. For more great tips and techniques on how to keep your brain healthy and running in top form, as well as improving your university performance, I invite you to check out my book on Amazon: “Guide to Natural Mental Health: Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Schizophrenia, and Digital Addiction: Nutrition, and Complementary Therapies.”
If you feel suicidal please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Friday, December 15, 2017
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Editor At Large/As I See It
Editor At Large/As I See It
A Column by Marvin Spieler
My Friend Nancy, As I Remember Her
One night Nancy arrived at my support group in Sunnyside, Queens, New York City and she became a regular participant. Usually, when the group ended, I walked her to the bus stop as the neighborhood was in transition, but not for the better. As a woman, she didn’t feel comfortable standing at the bus stop on a deserted street waiting for the bus. We had time to talk about the night’s group. I realized Nancy was easy to talk to as she didn’t pretend to be a hotsy-totsy. Also, as I got to know her, I learned that she wasn’t a Jewish American Princess either. Nancy was down to earth, not a gold digger, honest, and a good person.
Nancy, unfortunately, had schizophrenia. In a sense it was self-induced. Sounds like a weird statement, yes? Well “acid” was in vogue in the nineteen-sixties. Nancy took, I guess, her fair share of it. Many years later, she had a major side-effect from it. Up until I met Nancy, I never met anyone who had become schizophrenic from taking acid, but I heard of this side effect. Thank God acid is not as popular a drug now as it was then. It is a mind-altering drug. Different people had different experiences with acid, some good and some bad.
I never asked Nancy what her experiences were like. I was curious. Whether her experiences were good or bad, I had no way of knowing. She’s dead now, unfortunately. In my eyes, she died because of one major side effect of acid—schizophrenia. I had read about this potential problem, but never knew anyone who had it until I met Nancy.
We cared for one another and helped each other when we could because we were friends. Our relationship grew. We saw each other frequently as we both had a lot of spare time. She was unable to work as was I. We got to know one another. Basically, she was a kind individual. She never said a bad word about anyone. She was bright, had attended college and graduated. She had a good mind. She was no dummy. She especially cared about her friends and helped them when she could. She showered us with gifts of needed items we couldn’t afford or didn’t want to spend money on ourselves. In a word, Nancy was generous. She was there for her friends when needed. Nancy had a good soul.
Why she actually died couldn’t be determined. An autopsy was inconclusive. But I felt it was a suicide. Nancy was depressed a great deal of the time. This went on for weeks. The last book she was reading was on the afterlife. The book seemed to calm her. Unfortunately, none of her friends picked up on this signal, which lead to her eventual death. This is what I feel she did to herself. She’s missed greatly.
Her symptoms of schizophrenia were primarily of being paranoid. She also had low self-esteem and she may have heard voices. I really don’t remember for sure. She kept a journal, which was full of her weird thoughts and feelings.
But the cure that she did experience eventually, in a way, made her worse. Her sanity after being put on Clozaril really didn’t help. She felt miserable knowing how sick she was previously. She couldn’t accept who she had become—a sane individual. Is this a crazy statement? It sounds that way, but she was very uncomfortable with her new found sanity.
Another major problem developed that I felt actually did her in was Tardive Dyskinesia. She had a severe case. Her hands shook and her mouth movements were also very severe. It embarrassed her. Nancy kept a towel over her hands so they wouldn’t be seen. Her mouth movements she couldn’t hide. This in effect did her in. She couldn’t live with these involuntary movements. Eventually, this problem became constant. She was severely depressed as a result and spent a lot of time at home. Nancy was seen infrequently. She didn’t answer her phone regularly. At some point she must have taken an overdose and was finally at peace with herself.
A Column by Marvin Spieler
My Friend Nancy, As I Remember Her
One night Nancy arrived at my support group in Sunnyside, Queens, New York City and she became a regular participant. Usually, when the group ended, I walked her to the bus stop as the neighborhood was in transition, but not for the better. As a woman, she didn’t feel comfortable standing at the bus stop on a deserted street waiting for the bus. We had time to talk about the night’s group. I realized Nancy was easy to talk to as she didn’t pretend to be a hotsy-totsy. Also, as I got to know her, I learned that she wasn’t a Jewish American Princess either. Nancy was down to earth, not a gold digger, honest, and a good person.
Nancy, unfortunately, had schizophrenia. In a sense it was self-induced. Sounds like a weird statement, yes? Well “acid” was in vogue in the nineteen-sixties. Nancy took, I guess, her fair share of it. Many years later, she had a major side-effect from it. Up until I met Nancy, I never met anyone who had become schizophrenic from taking acid, but I heard of this side effect. Thank God acid is not as popular a drug now as it was then. It is a mind-altering drug. Different people had different experiences with acid, some good and some bad.
I never asked Nancy what her experiences were like. I was curious. Whether her experiences were good or bad, I had no way of knowing. She’s dead now, unfortunately. In my eyes, she died because of one major side effect of acid—schizophrenia. I had read about this potential problem, but never knew anyone who had it until I met Nancy.
We cared for one another and helped each other when we could because we were friends. Our relationship grew. We saw each other frequently as we both had a lot of spare time. She was unable to work as was I. We got to know one another. Basically, she was a kind individual. She never said a bad word about anyone. She was bright, had attended college and graduated. She had a good mind. She was no dummy. She especially cared about her friends and helped them when she could. She showered us with gifts of needed items we couldn’t afford or didn’t want to spend money on ourselves. In a word, Nancy was generous. She was there for her friends when needed. Nancy had a good soul.
Why she actually died couldn’t be determined. An autopsy was inconclusive. But I felt it was a suicide. Nancy was depressed a great deal of the time. This went on for weeks. The last book she was reading was on the afterlife. The book seemed to calm her. Unfortunately, none of her friends picked up on this signal, which lead to her eventual death. This is what I feel she did to herself. She’s missed greatly.
Her symptoms of schizophrenia were primarily of being paranoid. She also had low self-esteem and she may have heard voices. I really don’t remember for sure. She kept a journal, which was full of her weird thoughts and feelings.
But the cure that she did experience eventually, in a way, made her worse. Her sanity after being put on Clozaril really didn’t help. She felt miserable knowing how sick she was previously. She couldn’t accept who she had become—a sane individual. Is this a crazy statement? It sounds that way, but she was very uncomfortable with her new found sanity.
Another major problem developed that I felt actually did her in was Tardive Dyskinesia. She had a severe case. Her hands shook and her mouth movements were also very severe. It embarrassed her. Nancy kept a towel over her hands so they wouldn’t be seen. Her mouth movements she couldn’t hide. This in effect did her in. She couldn’t live with these involuntary movements. Eventually, this problem became constant. She was severely depressed as a result and spent a lot of time at home. Nancy was seen infrequently. She didn’t answer her phone regularly. At some point she must have taken an overdose and was finally at peace with herself.
Monday, December 15, 2014
All in the Family
All
in the Family
Acceptance:
Step One to a Better Life
There
is magic everywhere; on the floors, on the sheets, in the walls. She
tries to cut it out but it never really goes away. Spells are put on
her by the same people who are always stealing her clothes and
dishes. It’s the women her husband is always cheating with. They
are the ones putting the evil in her home. She knows he is cheating
because he never takes her out and they don’t have sex regularly. I
know this because she tells me, because she thinks I am her friend,
but I am not. I am her daughter.
My
mom has paranoid personality disorder. I finally got her to see a
psychiatrist a few years ago but she only went three times. Aside
from her mandated stay at the hospital resulting from her calling the
cops on my dad for killing her brother who had just passed away in
Italy, she has never seen anyone for treatment. As the officers
escorted her to the ambulance, I could feel my mind fracture my
heart. They kept her for two days, releasing her after discovering I
was a mental health counselor. She still blames every pain she gets
in her aging body on the drugs they gave her then.
My
mom says she is fine. She doesn’t see her illness. That’s common
for people with her disorder. Living life with mom has been both an
adventure and a lesson in patience. She is one of eight children,
most of whom had mental illness. Sadly, none of them actually sought
help except for her brother, John, who was schizophrenic and briefly
hospitalized when he became catatonic. My mom’s illness has
progressively gotten worse. She has ripped the molding off most of
the walls in her home. She burns incense every single day, twice a
day, to the point where a neighbor once thought our house was on
fire. She reads the bible daily, religion being a theme in her
paranoia.
I
often tell myself I should be glad the only thing I got hit with was
depression. My mental health resume is as follows: When I was 14, I
was afraid to brush my teeth at night with the door open fearing my
father would stab me from behind. When I was 16, I sat on my bed
holding his gun, with the bullets spread out like a path to peace
before me. When I was 22, I tested my veins with the blade of a knife
and washed out the thoughts with vodka. When I was 29, I celebrated
with a bottle of pills and some liquor. I was persistent, if not
successful. I was also very lucky because I never wanted to die. I
was just tired, exhausted from how hard breathing had become. I was
tired of being tired.
I
have been battling depression most of my life, though I didn’t
always know it. I never went to a therapist until I was 22. She was
the first of many I would see through the years. She tried putting me
on meds but I stopped taking them, deciding I could do better on my
own. I never liked the idea of needing something. I had issues with
commitment. I can’t remember the number of jobs I’ve held and
quit, or the number of therapists I’ve seen. I soon discovered
drinking would make me feel better in the moment. So partying became
my new antidepressant and blackouts were just a side effect.
I
met my husband when I was on this self-prescribed treatment plan. I
hid my amount of binge drinking by pre-drinking. He was smart,
hard-working, and despite having met at a club, not into partying as
I was. He was handsome and he made me laugh. So nine months after
meeting this man, who made me want to walk away from the ledge, I
married him.
I
wish I could say that was the end of my battle, some magical happily
ever after cure all, but it wasn’t it. It took years of on and off
again binge drinking and getting on and off meds before I managed to
understand this was not something I could just get over, or cure.
This was something I needed to make peace with and accept. I needed
to accept that medication was going to be part of my routine, and
that this did not mean I was weak or crazy, it meant I had an
illness. It took me years to realize that just like my mother, I had
been unraveling in my own way through my own denial. With the support
of a man who refused to let me drag him into the depths of my despair
and also refused to abandon me there, I started to climb out of the
abyss and find myself again, maybe for the very first time.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
An Account of My Depression in Southern France
An Account of My Depression in Southern France
By Francois
I am currently 59 years old. I started working at a semi-familiar company with international customers and wrote my first novel at age 23, and did some law and English linguistics. Then, after a series of heart strokes, I worked in computerized billing at a transport business. Thanks to that, I did a remunerated computer training for 8 months and undertook several jobs for a couple of years.
At one point, I held a job working for a newspaper in the French Pyrenees for six years. Once every week we would work one night in addition to the working day. I had a heart condition and for this reason only did 22 hours on end on such long working days. Eventually I got so exhausted I fainted and could no longer work.
In December 1991, I was diagnosed with depression and started taking antidepressants, tranquillizers and sleeping pills. I was put on a long sick leave for three years and during this time did an interesting psychotherapy based on several cycles of some sort of rebirth therapy, noticeably through the existential, living and social layers of psychic development. Some odd things happened in the meantime. I would be unable to lace my shoes. I dangerously burned myself with an electric heating pad, unaware that I was burning. It was as though I were in a vegetative state, and for a long year was unable to write simple letters. I struggled with agoraphobia, as well.
In 1994, I was declared disabled and settled in Toulouse. A sleeping disorder and vigilance specialist and a psychotherapist resumed my treatment, and have been doing so until now in mid 2013. In this process it appeared I didn’t have a reactive depression but a major depression. Besides my heart treatment, my psychotropic medical treatment consists of two Effexor and one Abilify in the mornings, Victan as a tranquilizer, and at night two Norset and a sleeping pill, Zopiclone.
In 1997, my former boss came to see me in Toulouse. He invited me to a restaurant and told me that I would be welcomed back at the newspaper again. He conveyed that he understood that none of what had happened to me was of my own making but to a great extent the result of the crazy hours the newspaper kept. But it was already too late, because my major depression had become awfully difficult to handle.
In the late 1990’s, I was able to live with a New York retiree here in Toulouse, take some trips, be more active, and indeed write. But in late 2000 we split up, and since then I've been living alone. In principle, given that retirement age for my generation is close to 62 years, I will become a retiree in late 2014.
Because I was a smoker, I developed lung cancer which required surgery. I had a successful left inferior lobectomy and haven’t needed chemotherapy or radiotherapy. I just wish major depression could be healed with the same efficiency. Sometimes, yes, I manage to go out with a few great friends or enjoy long stays with my mother, but this is a very treacherous illness and as soon as I am alone I go down the tubes. Since I live on a modest disability pension with rent relief and my mother’s help, I manage to get along economically, and I must be grateful I only have to send a form every three months, so I am not otherwise subject to inspections.
Not long ago, a non-profit had invited me to run a writing workshop, but I had to let it go because the ups and downs of my illness made it too difficult to handle. So I really can’t work, not even for my pleasure, and I keep being subject to agoraphobia so the shortest walk on my own becomes hell. I need to be in the company of a friend to enjoy a walk.
I have given up the hope that I will be able to know a true life in the company of a woman I would love. The only person who is ready to share my ordeal so far is my mother and I plan to live with her. I still hope to build a circle of friends thru which to enliven my relationships and enrich my own life.
By Francois
I am currently 59 years old. I started working at a semi-familiar company with international customers and wrote my first novel at age 23, and did some law and English linguistics. Then, after a series of heart strokes, I worked in computerized billing at a transport business. Thanks to that, I did a remunerated computer training for 8 months and undertook several jobs for a couple of years.
At one point, I held a job working for a newspaper in the French Pyrenees for six years. Once every week we would work one night in addition to the working day. I had a heart condition and for this reason only did 22 hours on end on such long working days. Eventually I got so exhausted I fainted and could no longer work.
In December 1991, I was diagnosed with depression and started taking antidepressants, tranquillizers and sleeping pills. I was put on a long sick leave for three years and during this time did an interesting psychotherapy based on several cycles of some sort of rebirth therapy, noticeably through the existential, living and social layers of psychic development. Some odd things happened in the meantime. I would be unable to lace my shoes. I dangerously burned myself with an electric heating pad, unaware that I was burning. It was as though I were in a vegetative state, and for a long year was unable to write simple letters. I struggled with agoraphobia, as well.
In 1994, I was declared disabled and settled in Toulouse. A sleeping disorder and vigilance specialist and a psychotherapist resumed my treatment, and have been doing so until now in mid 2013. In this process it appeared I didn’t have a reactive depression but a major depression. Besides my heart treatment, my psychotropic medical treatment consists of two Effexor and one Abilify in the mornings, Victan as a tranquilizer, and at night two Norset and a sleeping pill, Zopiclone.
In 1997, my former boss came to see me in Toulouse. He invited me to a restaurant and told me that I would be welcomed back at the newspaper again. He conveyed that he understood that none of what had happened to me was of my own making but to a great extent the result of the crazy hours the newspaper kept. But it was already too late, because my major depression had become awfully difficult to handle.
In the late 1990’s, I was able to live with a New York retiree here in Toulouse, take some trips, be more active, and indeed write. But in late 2000 we split up, and since then I've been living alone. In principle, given that retirement age for my generation is close to 62 years, I will become a retiree in late 2014.
Because I was a smoker, I developed lung cancer which required surgery. I had a successful left inferior lobectomy and haven’t needed chemotherapy or radiotherapy. I just wish major depression could be healed with the same efficiency. Sometimes, yes, I manage to go out with a few great friends or enjoy long stays with my mother, but this is a very treacherous illness and as soon as I am alone I go down the tubes. Since I live on a modest disability pension with rent relief and my mother’s help, I manage to get along economically, and I must be grateful I only have to send a form every three months, so I am not otherwise subject to inspections.
Not long ago, a non-profit had invited me to run a writing workshop, but I had to let it go because the ups and downs of my illness made it too difficult to handle. So I really can’t work, not even for my pleasure, and I keep being subject to agoraphobia so the shortest walk on my own becomes hell. I need to be in the company of a friend to enjoy a walk.
I have given up the hope that I will be able to know a true life in the company of a woman I would love. The only person who is ready to share my ordeal so far is my mother and I plan to live with her. I still hope to build a circle of friends thru which to enliven my relationships and enrich my own life.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Some great Resources in Mental Health in and around NYC
Hello City Voices Readers:
This is the CIO Will Jiang, MLS of New York City Voices letting you know about some exciting, upcoming events as well as a great newsletter archive of a great support group:
This is the CIO Will Jiang, MLS of New York City Voices letting you know about some exciting, upcoming events as well as a great newsletter archive of a great support group:
Mood Disorders Support Group Newsletter Archive (MDSG):
The Return of the third season of the "Healthy Minds" series is big news
I like also, the mention of the radio program in the namynycmetro newslettter.
"TUNE INTO TABOO TALK RADIO DURING
MINORITY MENTAL HEALTH AWARNESS MONTH"
Please show your support and tune in to listen at www.blogtalkradio.com/taboo- talk
- July 3: NAMI IOOV presenters: Christina Sparrock and Mrs. Arlene Day
- July 10: Famous Psychiatrist, Dr. Dolores Malaspina
- July 17: NAMI IOOV presenters: Lucy Chi and Crispin Jackson
- July 24: Famous Author/Mental Health Advocate, Deborah Cofer
- July 31: Famous Psychiatrist and Famous Author, Dr. Sidney Hankerson and Mental Health Advocate, Terrie Williams
If you like any of these resources please leave a comment below. Even if you don't like them, it would be interesting to see your comments, as they may help others.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Published Author Battles Schizophrenia
By
William Jiang, MLS
New
York City Voices helped me along the way
New
York City Voices was founded by Ken Steele in 1995,
17 years ago. I was recruited by Dan Frey in early 2000, shortly after Ken died
and left Dan at the helm of the newspaper. I shared my own personal story of
recovery at that point in 2000 with the paper, and now, in 2012, my personal
story of recovery continues.
A
lot has happened in my life since then. When Dan recruited me I was fresh out
of library school with my Masters, and I was excited to work with a
newspaperman. The internship at City Voices was a good idea to get some job
experience. Dan got me to work as a grant writer, webmaster, advertising
manager, and freelance journalist. I parlayed the City Voices experience into
my first career position as an adjunct lecturer at Kingsborough Community
College as a librarian. The Kingsborough Community College position led to a
seven-year position at the prestigious New York State Psychiatric Institute as
the chief librarian of their Patient and Family Library. At New York State
Psychiatric Institute I wrote my autobiography titled A Schizophrenic Will:
A Story of Madness, A Story of Hope, which, recently, has outsold Sylvia Nasar’s
A Beautiful Mind on Amazon.com. I am now in the process of returning to
university part-time to study German at Hunter College, and to keep myself
busy. I am currently tutoring people who seek further knowledge in Spanish,
French, math, Photoshop, video editing, and book design.
However,
life has not been an easy, straight road. I continue to struggle with clinical
depression, physical aches and pains that I have accumulated over the years, as
well as the schizophrenia that I have had since 1992. I was lucky to survive
2011 as I had two hospitalizations in November that involved suicidal ideas and
urges. In November I welcomed the institutional halls of Columbia Presbyterian
in White Plains because in that hospital was a measure of safety. I was afraid
of what I might do to myself if let go without a medication regimen that did
not work. After the mood stabilizer lithium failed, I was scared that nothing
would work. The doctors were going to try Depakote on me. After an empowering
conversation with a mental health therapy aide, I convinced my doctors to try
me on Saphris or Fanapt as a mood stabilizer. My doctor put me on Saphris as a
mild mood stabilizer, and the good news is that in addition to regular
exercise, the Saphris seems to be helping me to stabilize my mood.
Another
thing that has helped me, over the years, is my power of insight and my ability
to fine-tune my medicines, with my doctor’s ok, to keep me out of the hospital
and out of trouble. For some odd reason, when I start losing touch with
reality, I sense it happening. I am able to take a little more of my
antipsychotic, Navane, when this happens, and by using this technique, I have
been able to keep myself out of the hospital for many years. This apparent
control I have over my medication and neurochemistry has been a blessing for me
because I’ve been able to take less of the antipsychotic than otherwise, and I
have had the benefit of less sedation than if I were on a consistently higher
dose. I feel that I work as a team player with my psychiatrists in my recovery.
The game plan is to stay in therapy and keep an eye on my medication so we can
beat the unbeatable opponent that is in my head: the schizophrenia. Although, I
have not beaten schizophrenia for over 19 years now, neither has my competitor
beaten me, and we continue to play the game. I feel I am playing as a worthy
opponent against a formidable diagnosis.
My
great regret is that I have had few girlfriends over the years and that none of
them have stuck. That is the one thing in life that I feel that I am missing
right now: a good girlfriend to share the highs and lows, the good times and
the bad, in this drama that is life. I know I’ll meet her someday, and the
figurative hearth burns with a steady, warm flame.
In
the meantime, I work, I hang out with friends, and I study. I salute New
York City Voices for their continued role as the oldest, and largest free
newspaper for the people of New York City who suffer from the slings and arrows
of mental illness.
Note:
The author does not suggest that you manage your own medications as he does
unless you talk to your psychiatrist and decide together that it is a safe and
practical thing to do. As always, the medical advice of your doctor or your pharmacist
should be heeded. To contact Will email fishmonger1972@gmail.com.
Ward Stories
A
column organized by Jack M. Freedman, Poetry Editor
This edition of Ward Stories features poetry from a couple of sources. One of those sources is Ted Wainer. This poem was written during a hospital stay. Many of us can relate to the sheer boredom that many experience within the confines of a psychiatric ward. This in turn inspired me to share one of my own pieces. This is a piece that outlines my current views on the practices of psychiatry. I have done a lot of self-discovery and now know that personally, I need alternatives in my life for my own treatment. With that said, I know there may be a lot of people who will not agree with my statements, but I hope that City Voices will outline a wide variety of views on psychiatry as a whole, so with that, I present one of my poems. I hope you enjoy this edition of Ward Stories, as well as the rest of the paper.
In These
Chains of Boredom
by Ted
Wainer
To aire,
to reap, to sow , to sleep
To sleep
within the air so fine.
To leap,
to lash between the sheets
To hate
the air that glistens through.
Yes
glistening through yet not touching it.
Healing
hands yet a smile without grace.
Without
the grace to heal the hurt
within.
Without
the power of empathy to go that last stand.
Yes
boredom resides here big time, you know.
And yes
Thomas, that’s the way it is.
Today,
tomorrow , and possibly in the future it seems.
It
leaps, it jumps, it escapes and it hits you.
It kills
at times and menaces with the scales
of your
mind.
Yet oh
those scales so ponder deep.
Pondering
deep within the realm of this insane mess.
Yes the
insanity keeps me here.
But how
sane am I in boredom.
To
laugh, to hold, to cajole and to convince.
To try
to see the light.
Yes
reading away those hours
of discontempt.
Holding
onto future grains and learning a lot
along
the way.
Yes this
field of discontempt.
This
hallway of horror.
Passing,
passing through all this
nonsense.
As I’m
bored , as I sit here writing these passages.
Hoping
for salvation, only time heals they say.
I want
immediate release, instant gratification.
And so I
wait in these chains of boredom.
Prescribe
This
by
Jack M. Freedman
I'm done with lurking behind
A
marmalade bottle
Filled
with false miracles
The ties
that bind throttle
Therefore
it is empirical
To free
yourself
From the
shackles
And the
cackles of doctors
Dictating
our treatment
Treating
us like children
Kidding us
into thinking
The pills
we chase with drinking water
Foster
recovery.
My
discovery
Of myself
Leads me
to shelf
All the
things I used to know
And let it
fall by my feet.
It would
defeat me to entreat
Corrupt
forces of mind control
Patrolling
and enrolling me
Not in the
school of hard knocks
But mental
cell blocks
With
electroshocks forced upon
By pigs
carrying glocks.
We want
rights without having to demand them
Without
day treatment programs
Where
brains get programmed like robots,
Reinforcing
paranoia
Validating
low self-esteem.
We've
moved past possessing psyches
Of
Phineas,
But can
you gauge what the future holds for us?
We've
moved past our head structures being analyzed
Past
insulin catalyzing seizures
Leisurely
knocking us unconscious at will.
The abuse
must end
And we
must suspend this systemic oppression,
Before all
of our rights undergo regression
And receive
justice
At the
sharp end of the ice pick.
FREUD CAN SUCK THE FAT END OF MY CIGAR!
FREUD CAN SUCK THE FAT END OF MY CIGAR!
New York City Voices is Back!
We
apologize for the big delay—it’s been at least a year—since we published our
last newspaper. There are many reasons why we did not publish. Among them are
lack of staff: all of the work falls on the shoulders of one, maybe two people
who are also coping with mental health issues; financial problems; and
technical difficulties: learning new technologies and coordinating production
in a technologically sensible way has always been difficult.
We
are back and starting off humbly with a smaller budget and a smaller newspaper.
Still, we intend to print on a regular basis while we get our house in order.
Marvin
Spieler, Voices’ current general manager, rehired Dan Frey as Editor in Chief. Dan
was on hiatus for a while because he had a mental health setback,
hospitalizations and so forth. He’s back and in recovery with new wisdom, which
is what recovery from relapse can bring to an individual.
Although
the economy is having a weak recovery, we hope to raise enough money to continue
publication because we know the value of sharing stories and important
information within our community. We tried to get information on how our
entitlement benefits may be affected considering the status of the economy and
the politics in Washington and New York. We all know that mental health is one
of the first things to get cut. We plan to continue to seek answers for you and
to publish them.
We
now have an Internet blog at newyorkcityvoices.blogspot.com and an archive of
most of the articles that have ever been published at nycvoices.org. There is a
retrospective documentary short that you can see by visiting youtube.com and
searching for “videoguynumerouno city voices.”
We
are currently seeking a general manager and an advertising director so please write
us if you or someone you know would want more information on these positions.
Here’s
to a long overdue issue. Thank you for being a loyal reader.
The Eye of the Storm
By
Robyn Carrothers
Even
tornadoes pass eventually
My
life is like a tornado—that strong powerful wind that causes death and
destruction. I live in a chaotic situation where my mental illness has taken
its toll. It’s a funnel cloud just waiting to touch down and wreak havoc. I
just want to be in the eye of the storm.
It
was a beautiful day in the city of my mind. I felt the day was peaceful except
for the wind. It was a little breezy. Then suddenly, the wind got stronger. “Wow,”
said the elderly man. “I never felt wind like this.”
“Sometimes
the wind gets stronger than this,” I said
Then
the mailman came along. “It’s starting to rain.”
“Ain’t
you supposed to be delivering mail?” asked the old man.
My
mind was going crazy as the tornado began to swirl. The mailman and the old man
began to argue. I’m on the outside with this F3 tornado in my head. It is
getting bigger by the minute. Then at that moment came the rain and thunder. I
thought I was losing my mind.
The
tornado was getting stronger. The old man and the mailman were still arguing in
my head. Then it happened. The damage was beginning: depression, seeing and
hearing things. This was a F3 tornado.
Then
suddenly, there it was: the eye of the tornado, calm and peaceful.
I
saw the mailman and the old man. They were calm, no fighting; the serenity of
the eye. It was weird that a wind of 200 miles-per-hour had a calm center.
All
of a sudden the twister picked up again. The depression came back, along with
seeing and hearing things. I grabbed my head. I wanted this tornado to stop.
There the wind suddenly stopped. The damage was done: broken relationships,
drama and a lot of chaos. The old man and mailman disappeared. Everything was
all in my mind, yet I survived. I was able to pick myself up, and go on with
life. I looked back and said, “I will be ok.”
Rainbow Heights Club Helped Restore My Soul
By Julie A. Cipolla
It’s important to have a special place to go
8 ½ years ago my life was very different than it is today. I
slept 15 to 18 hours a day and saw no one (I live alone and have no family).
I’d been on Social Security Disability for depression and post-traumatic
stress disorder for 7 years already. I was not doing anything with my life. I
was merely existing in the haze of semi-suicidality so common to people with my
diagnosis and family abuse history.
The one bright spot in my life was a monthly group I started
and ran for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) people with
disabilities, called “Disabilities Who Need Each Other.” The group was held the
second Sunday of the month from 2-4 p.m. at the LGBT Center on 13th
Street in New York City.
One day a nice young man attended the group and told us
about a club for LGBT folks with mental illness that he worked at as a peer specialist.
I was so intrigued by his description of the Club that I decided to go.
I walked into the building at 25 Flatbush Avenue in
Brooklyn, saw the sign for Rainbow Heights Club and I went to the 4th
Floor. There I met a smiling young man who introduced himself to me as
Christian Huygen the current executive director of the Club.
I was given a tour by the peer specialist who had come to my
group that Sunday. I was impressed with what I saw. There was a gorgeous, huge
kitchen, a cozy, sunny club room with a huge rainbow flag and couches. There
was also a computer room with newly installed Internet access as well as a
large art room with a real kiln for firing ceramics. All around the room were
pieces of artwork made by club members. “Ah!” I thought, “I am home!” Then
there was the day room which I was informed was referred to as the “Gay Room,”
by members.
I was handed an application for membership and on it was the
following question: “What can you offer the Club?” I was floored! Here I was
being asked what I could contribute—I was not to simply be a passive recipient
of help from higher-ups who were “wellies.”
So I mentioned my Karate skills (I am a first-degree black
belt, acquired before I got sick). I also put down my writing skills, and that
I was a good listener.
Then I went to the kitchen where Christian was preparing the
4 o’clock dinner. I was encouraged to participate in preparations, so I put
some mild spices into the Black Bean Soup and I felt very happy that I was
trusted to add the spices and that my input was wanted.
That day I sat in on a group that was constructing a “Code
of Conduct” for the Club. I made some suggestions about the wording which the
group adopted into the final version.
Next, I sat in the kitchen and talked with a member who
seemed to need a listening ear. We talked for an hour before dinner and resumed
the conversation afterwards.
When it was time to leave the Club at the end of the day, I
felt so happy because I felt I’d helped somebody and I’d contributed in a
meaningful way to the Club. That was on January 28, 2003.
I returned to attend such groups as the Assertiveness Group,
where I learned strategies for setting boundaries with people, and expressing
my needs. There were (and still are) other groups such as Thoughts and
Feelings, Lesbian Group, Art Group, etc.
Eventually, I offered to lead various activity groups at the
Rainbow Heights Club and in my 8½ years there, I have variously led the Stitch
n Bitch Group, the Writing Group and gave a short course in Karate.
I’ve also served on the Community Advisory Board, I’ve
prepared taxes for the Club members, cooked at some of the Club barbecues, and
I also took a turn working at Rainbow Heights as a peer specialist, which was
very rewarding.
Currently, I’m no longer a peer specialist, but instead I’m
a regular member. I’m not leading any groups right now. But I do attend several
groups every week, including the Alcohol and Substance Abuse Recovery group
because I have an eating disorder which is now in remission.
Today, I no longer sleep 18 hours a day, just 8 or 9. I have
a whole host of friends at the Club. We support one another. The staff is
outstanding and is very responsive to our needs, whatever they may be at any
given moment. Just the other day, before Hurricane Irene blew into town, I
asked to sit in the director’s office while the director did some paperwork. Just
sitting there with her helped to quell my fears about the impending storm.
Rainbow Heights Club is family to me—it’s my second home. It’s
where I go to share all of my tragedies and triumphs. It’s a place where I feel
heard and loved and I extend this to the other members—we do this for each
other. The staff provides an atmosphere of mutual respect and belonging for us
members. And we have a heck of a lot of fun, with Bingo and movie nights,
karaoke, birthday parties, open houses and barbecues. We also have outings to
such places as the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens.
Yes, my life is radically different and better because I belong to Rainbow Heights Club.
What I Learned From the Psych Out 2011 Conference
By Melissa Farrell
Seeking a new vision for
mental health care, I attended the Psych Out 2011 conference at the City
University of New York (CUNY)’s Graduate Center in Manhattan on June 21, 2011.
The conference was sponsored by the PhD Program in Environmental Psychology at
the Graduate School and University Center of CUNY. The main organizer of the
conference was Lauren Tenney, along with Dally Sanchez and Eva Dech, and many
others.
Robert Whitaker, a
journalist, spoke about his monumental book, Anatomy of an Epidemic.
Whitaker was critical of modern medication treatments for mental illnesses.
Whether you’re for medication or against it or whether you have found some kind
of middle ground, Whitaker presented valid data about the subject. Whitaker’s first
book on mental illness was Mad In America: Bad Science, Bad Medicine,
and the Enduring Mistreatment of the Mentally Ill published in 2001. In it, he presented the history of
the mentally ill in this country going back to the nation's beginnings.
Whitaker argued that society does not have time for moral treatment. It is much
cheaper and more time efficient to use medications even though they are not as
effective as we would like to think.
Dr. Philip Sinaikin, through
his book, PsychiatryLand provided a raw assessment of the field of
psychiatry and recommended that drug therapy be replaced by empathic
talk-therapy. He gave us a handout that included the stories of individuals
termed “Poor Pete” and “Helpless Bill.” According to Sinaikin, no one tried to
get to the root of their problems. Instead they were given medications and
sometimes forced to take them against their will. Dr. Sinaikin described PsychiatryLand
as a Disney Land, which has been hyped-up as a great place, but in reality
is just a hot, overcrowded, noisy and expensive amusement park. Similarly,
PsychiatryLand is where millions visit to reap the benefits of a rapidly
advancing “brain science” to identify and treat the underlying physical cause
of painful emotional conditions. Since we don't know exactly how the brain
works, let alone how to fix it, is this not also a case of “image” supplanting
“reality?”
I also learned about Soteria
House in Alaska, a home-like alternative to hospitalization for people who are
newly diagnosed or having their first break. The original Soteria House was
created back in the 1970s in California by a psychiatrist named Loren Mosher. He
advocated for a home where patients who were suffering from “extreme states” could
heal as naturally as possible. The environment was meant to be a safe haven with
caring workers who were not trained in the medical model. Research indicated that
more patients were able to recover in this model without drugs, though some were
not. If a person was not able to recover without drugs, attempts were made to
help the person minimize their need for medication. The National Institute for
Mental Health (NIMH) eventually withdrew funding for this project possibly
because it is cheaper to give someone medication and discharge them then to
allow them to heal naturally in this type of setting.
Ann Rider, MSW, CPRP
presented and discussed many revolutionary ideas in mental health including the
use of “Narrative Therapy.” Narrative Therapy focuses on the stories of people’s
lives and is based on the idea that mental health problems arise in social,
cultural and political contexts. Each person produces the meaning to their life,
so critical for recovery, from the stories that are available in these contexts.
Darby Penney, one of the
authors of The Lives They Left Behind: Suitcases From A State Hospital Attic
presented a social history of everyday patients in a state hospital and what
they went through. It chronicled various individuals’ lives from what their
lives were like before and what became of them after being admitted to a state
hospital in New York. They were people with careers, ambitions and livelihoods
at various points in their lives. These people “fell from grace” as so often happens
in the mental health system. I am happy that their stories live on.
Hopefully, the Psych Out conference
will promote the inclusion of alternatives to traditional mental health practice
in a realistic and practical way that does more good than harm for patients’
well-being.
Note: Melissa Farrell is an advocate and
writer. You can reach her at mfarrell079@aol.com.
Life-Threatening Effects
By Nancy Solomon, Saint Louis University
Mixing supplements, herbs, over-the-counter medications and prescription
drugs
People are mixing supplements, herbs and over-the-counter
medications and prescription drugs to cure themselves of ills, unaware that
they could be making themselves sicker, says George Grossberg, M.D., director
of the division of geriatric psychiatry at Saint Louis University.
Dr. Grossberg is about to change all that. He is the
co-author of a new book, "The Essential Herb-Drug-Vitamin Interaction
Guide," which is a comprehensive listing of what various herbs and
supplements do, possible side effects and how they might interact with other
medications and foods.
"People think if it doesn't require a prescription,
it's got to be safe, and that's not true. There could be life-threatening
effects."
Dr. Grossberg first became interested in the topic after a
routine six-month visit with a patient he had successfully treated for
depression. He had been seeing the patient for four or five years, and asked if
the man was dealing with any new health problems.
The patient mentioned that he was scheduled to go in for
cystoscopy in a couple weeks because there had been blood in his urine. The
procedure involves inserting the pencil-thin tip of a probe through the
urethra, up to the bladder to detect the cause of the problem.
The patient had undergone thousands of dollars of MRIs and
CAT scans of his lower abdomen and pelvis, which had not revealed the reason
for the bleeding, and the test was the next diagnostic step.
Dr. Grossberg asked if the patient had changed anything—perhaps
had started taking a new medication.
No new medicine. Then the patient's wife pulled from her
purse a vial containing a supplement she had purchased from the health food
store to enhance memory. Both husband and wife had started taking the herbal
memory enhancer, which largely contained ginkgo biloba
"One of the side effects of ginkgo biloba is an
increased risk of bleeding. He had no awareness of this. I told him to stop
taking the herb and get rechecked before having cystoscopy. The bleeding
stopped, and he didn't need the test."
Dr. Grossberg ticks off other common herbs that people take
without realizing their side effects or how they might interact with
medications.
St. John's Wort sometimes is taken for anxiety and
depression. Those who also are taking antidepressants or anti-anxiety
medications, such as Prozac, Zoloft or Paxil, should beware. Mixing St. John's Wort
with these medicines can cause serotonin syndrome—with symptoms that may
include agitation, rapid heartbeat, flushing and heavy sweating—that may be
fatal.
Dong quai, which some women take for menstrual disorders and
to ease symptoms of menopause, has been linked to cardiovascular problems, such
as irregular heart rhythm and low blood pressure. If a patient takes the herb
along with an antihypertensive drug, her blood pressure could plummet, putting
her at risk of stroke.
Some people take echinacea, which enhances the immune
system, for the common cold. However, those who also take Lipitor, Celebrex and
Aleve face an increased risk of liver damage. Echinacea also can be harmful for
those who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, HIV infections or allergies.
Dr. Grossberg and his co-author Barry Fox make it clear that
they're not anti-herb or anti-medicine.
"There just are a lot of things people can take that
have a lot of bad interactions. And on some level it makes sense for them to
think that what they're doing is safe. They associate natural remedies with
nature and think if the supplement wasn't safe, they couldn't pick it up
without a prescription.
"Hopefully this will get them to think more about it so
they look before they leap. People can look up what they're thinking of taking
and see if there's efficacy. And they should always talk to their doctor about
everything they're taking."
Many doctors don't know much about herbal remedies, which
have been used as medications for thousands of years.
"When I trained, there was nothing like this in our
medical education," says Dr. Grossberg, who graduated from medical school
in 1975. "The younger doctors are more likely to know this than older
doctors."
Elderly people, he says, use herbal remedies and don't always
tell their doctors and pharmacists. They should.
"A lot of our older patients are buying herbals and
botanicals. In addition, while those over 65 represent about 14 percent of the
population, they consume 40 percent of over-the-counter medications," he says.
The book, published by Broadway Books, a subsidiary of
Random House, is being released in mid-April.
Note: Article
adapted by Medical News Today from original press release. Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/66399.php.
Any medical information published is not intended as a substitute for informed
medical advice and you should not take any action before consulting with a
health care professional.
I Never Gave Up On My Dreams
By
Megan “Meg” Torre
Working
through school while getting my diagnosis straight
My
dad is a pigeon flyer and I can remember always being surrounded by pigeons
when I would go outside and play. I never got involved with the pigeons though.
It was sad losing my mom when I was eleven and she will always be in my heart.
My dad got involved with his current girlfriend Lynne in 1999. Lynne is like a
mother to me. She and my dad are always on top of me to get things done. I love
my parents and they have always been there when I needed them.
I
started my education at Calabro Primary School in Hoboken, New Jersey. While
there I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. With this diagnosis I was sent
to The Forum School, a school for children who have special needs. While there
I participated in the Special Olympics and was heavily involved with the swim
team. The Forum School gave me skills that will help me for the rest of my
life.
My
dad decided to pull me from Forum when I was in the eighth grade and send me to
Academy of the Sacred Heart, which was an all-girls Catholic high school in
Hoboken. I was always in trouble for my behavior and acting up. I signed up to
be the sophomore class historian and because of my shenanigans, I had to
resign. When junior year came I was hit hard with an overwhelming depression
and was always in the guidance counselor’s office. In 2002 I was hospitalized
for the first time in the child psych ward. I straightened up just enough in my
senior year to be accepted to Rutgers University in New Brunswick.
When
I started Rutgers I really did not care about my grades. My motto was get a “C”
and go. I was more interested in frat parties. I loved alcohol. I started to
write for the Rutgers’ newspaper The
Daily Targum and that is when I decided to major in journalism and media studies.
I
began to care more about school and made Dean’s List, my proudest achievement
in college. However, in the summer between sophomore and junior year my
drinking was picking up and I was beginning to think that I had bipolar
disorder.
I
went to see a Rutgers’ psychiatrist and she confirmed that I had bipolar
disorder and told me that I was an alcoholic. The bipolar part I was totally
down with, but being an alcoholic I wasn’t. At this point I had stopped writing
for The Targum. I had my first
hospitalization as an adult during the second half of my junior year. I was out
of control with my illness and drinking. I did however study abroad in Spain in
the summer of 2006, one of the greatest experiences of my life that opened me
up to a new culture. I lied about how serious my mental illness was when I
applied for the study abroad. I had an insane manic episode in Spain where I picked
up a huge sidewalk block and swung it at people and a car. I wound up in the
emergency room in Spain, but calmed down and was able to finish the trip.
I
came back home and started my senior year and that is when the trouble with my
illness started kicking me in the ass. I was hospitalized at least 20 times. I was
asked to take leaves of absence by Rutgers’ counselors and people from
residence. I cut my course-load down to part-time because I was not able to handle
a full load or live on campus. I finally got sober July 8, 2008 and I am very
proud to have 3 years of sobriety.
When
I returned to school, I was able to get good grades in the two classes I signed
up for. I would have semesters with mostly two classes only. I also took two
semesters off. I wound up being committed twice in hospitals and would even
spend a month in Greystone, a state hospital of New Jersey.
I
had also been in various day programs. I was given a diagnoses of borderline
personality disorder, which was incorrect. At Roosevelt Hospital I was given
the diagnoses of schizoaffective disorder: bipolar type and I believe this
diagnoses is correct. I would not tell the doctors that I was hearing voices
and seeing things. I thought that people would think that I was insane. With the
correct diagnoses, doctors are able to provide me with the right meds and care.
I
took another leave of absence while I was at the Roosevelt program because I
wanted to give my attention to the program. I believe that the Roosevelt
program helped me a lot and Peter, my therapist, was one of the best therapists
I’ve ever had.
I
returned to school in spring of 2011 part-time. During that time I wound up in
the hospital twice. However, my professors were understanding and gave me extra
time on my work. I have found that when I told professors what was up they either
went out of their way to help or just didn’t care. My professors gave me enough
confidence to take two summer courses in the summer of 2011 and finish my
college degree. I was able to participate in the May 2011 commencement, one of
the high points in my life. Taking the train home that day I could not believe
that I was finally done with my BA from Rutgers. The only thing I need now is a
job. I have not been in the hospital since late April and I’m hoping that I
will not be for a long, long time.
I
do now currently have a job working at the Garden of Eden grocery store in
Hoboken as a cashier. I am hoping that I will be able to do something more
geared toward journalism in the future. I am thinking about going back to
school to become a licensed clinical social worker. I will be looking very hard
to get a job in either of one of these fields. I know I can do it, proving to
myself already that I never give up in achieving my dreams, just like I never
gave up on getting my BA.
Book Review: Surviving Mental Illness
By
Linda Naomi Katz, Author of Surviving
Mental Illness
It
has been a while since I published my first article in New York City Voices, called, “My Fears in Overcoming Bipolar
Disorder.” Since that time I have published other articles such as, “How My
Pregnancy Affected My Mental Illness”, “My Experience with Getting Social
Security Disability”, etc.
I
have done many things in my life that have helped me along the way through my
recovery. For example, I used to have a hard time maintaining a positive
relationship with someone. Now, I am married to someone who also has a mental
illness which has given me the courage and support that I have been wanting
throughout my life. I have worked as a peer counselor and employment specialist
in mental health. I have helped consumers with mental illness find jobs as peer
specialists and also have taught them how to maintain their wellness and
ability to recover.
I
have also done a lot of volunteer work. For example, I did public speaking
engagements where I talked about my own recovery from mental illness. As a
mental health advocate, I went to Albany once to promote legislation on certain
policies that affect people with mental illness, such as mental heath parity,
keeping their Medicaid insurance, etc. I also was the first one who sponsored
mental health events in my synagogue and around the Jewish community in which I
live.
My
latest accomplishment was writing and publishing a book about my personal
journey with mental illness. The book is titled, Surviving Mental Illness. It offers help, hope and inspiration to
others who are struggling with mood disorders. It also lists resources and
organizations where consumers can seek help in developing positive relationships
and maintaining employment in a field that they love. Surviving Mental Illness also shows how one can break through the
fear and stigma that surrounds consumers living with mental illness in today’s
society.
Surviving Mental Illness will
be available on a variety of websites such as Amazon.com and Barnes &
Noble.com. There are two formats of this book. One is in paperback and the
other is hardcover. My publisher is Outskirts Press. They are a self-publishing
company that will have the book in their own bookstore. Their website is www.outskirtspress.com.
If the book is not already on the market, it will be soon.
I
encourage my peers to buy and read this book. Writing it has helped me and will
teach you that you’re not alone because there are others facing a similar
situation. Always remember to have faith and hope and that recovery is about
living the life you are meant to have.
Note: "Surviving Mental Illness" is available at:www.outskirtspress.com/survivingmentalillness
Celebrating My 10th Anniversary!
By Kurt Sass
Ten years since my last ultra-serious depression
February 13, 2008 was a big day for me. It was my 10th
Anniversary. Not your usual anniversary, mind you. It was exactly 10 years to
the day that my worst depression ever began. This depressive “episode” would end
up lasting two years, involving numerous hospitalizations, cutting myself up to
70 times a day, daily suicidal thoughts, double digit medications and 22 ECT (electro
convulsive therapy) treatments before even beginning to return to any form of
normalcy.
What triggered this most acute of attacks on February 13,
1998? Just like all my previous depressions, absolutely nothing at all. I was
just sitting at home, watching TV. Everything was going along just fine at home
and work. No pressures, no anxieties, no warnings. All of a sudden, it was as
if someone just stuck a pin in me and drained all my life out. I was suddenly
frozen with fear, lethargy depression, you name it.
I mentioned that this depression was by far worse than any
of the others I’ve ever gone through, which began for me way back in 1979. All
the others had a life span of about eight weeks, and would usually die out.
This one decided to become a senior citizen, however. Not a single medication
worked. Month after month passed with absolutely no change. It would be a
constant struggle just to get out of bed, to eat, bathe or go to the bathroom.
I would sleep for days at a time and suicidal thoughts were constant. I would curse
out loud that I only lived on the 2nd floor. And for the first time
ever, I started cutting myself, since the physical pain would provide a respite
(if only brief) from the constant emotional pain I was going through.
After two additional medications were given their eight-week
time periods with no success, the head psychiatrist at the clinic (my case had
been deemed so serious by this point I had “graduated” to him) suggested I get
ECT treatments. Like many others, the only thing I knew of ECT “shock” treatments
was from watching “One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest.” I initially said “No, Way!”
but after two more months with no improvement whatsoever, along with reading
about 20 articles on ECT and viewing a video of the procedure, I decided to go
ahead.
I was scheduled for a series of eight treatments. Just as
many of the articles stated, I started to feel better after the 3rd
or 4th treatment. And just as many people on medication who start to
feel better do, I stopped treatment. I did so because I became fearful of the
anesthesia. Lo and behold I had a relapse. I had to start from the beginning
and go through the full course of eight treatments again. After the treatments,
I felt so much better. I wasn’t back to my old self, but I would say about 80%.
I continued to have monthly maintenance treatments, the last being in 2000.
Once I was feeling better, I had to slowly re-integrate
myself back into society. After all, I had practically been a hermit and a mute
for two years! I started by doing a lot of volunteer work and going to a lot of
support groups. I then, with a lot of rejections along the way, eventually found
work as a home health aide, then as a service coordinator for Community Access,
helping fellow mental health consumers.
I’d love to say that everything is 100% peachy-keen now, but
it isn’t. I still wake up with suicidal thoughts each and every morning, but
fortunately they fade almost everyday within an hour or so and don’t come back
for the rest of that day. But with that being said, I am feeling so much better
than 10 years ago. I have all the reason to celebrate my “Anniversary.”
Note: Although ECT
helped the author, he only recommends it as an option of last resort, and only
after options such as medications and talk therapy have been exhausted. Kurt
Sass suffered some minimal memory loss from ECT, but approximately 5-10% of
patients suffer major, permanent memory loss.
Keeping Your New York City Housing Authority Apartment
By
Runa Rajagopal, Senior Staff Attorney, MFY Legal Services
Tips
that you can follow
The
New York City Housing Authority (NYCHA) provides affordable housing for low to
moderate income families throughout New York City. It is the largest public
housing provider in North America with approximately 404,000
residents. This means that NYCHA is home to about 8.4% of the city’s
population.
Getting
into public housing entails a long and extensive process. Some families wait
five, ten sometimes fifteen years to get into NYCHA housing. In fact, right now
there are over 135,000 families on the waiting list. Once
a tenant obtains a NYCHA apartment, she is required to follow its rules and
regulations; failure to do so can jeopardize a tenant’s housing.
MFY
Legal Services, Inc.’s Mental Health Law Project is contacted daily by mental
health consumers seeking legal help regarding their NYCHA apartment. Often they
are on the verge of losing their NYCHA apartment due to misunderstanding the
rules, being unaware of their rights and even due to discrimination, among
other reasons. Considering how difficult it is to obtain a NYCHA apartment and
with the ever-shrinking stock of affordable housing in New York City, it is
increasingly important for mental health consumers who live in public housing
to be able keep their homes.
The
following are some useful tips when living in a NYCHA apartment:
Know
the Rules
It is important for tenants to familiarize
themselves with NYCHA’s rules and regulations. The first place a tenant can
start is with her lease, which outlines tenant rights as well as
responsibilities. A tenant can also go to the management office to obtain
additional information regarding NYCHA rules. Lastly, several community and
legal services organizations educate tenants and provide additional literature
regarding tenant rights. For example, MFY has several fact sheets about NYCHA
housing on our website (see www.mfy.org to “Get the Facts”).
Put
It In Writing and Get a Stamped Copy
Any requests made to the management office should be
documented in writing. Additionally, any letters or other documents you submit
to the management office should be copied, stamped with the date and marked as
“received,” and the copy should always be retained for your files.
Often times I have had tenants say they went to
their management office several times about a certain issue and that management
never responded to their requests; when I follow up management usually says
this was the first time they heard about the issue. By following up with
written requests, you are memorializing conversations you have had with your
management office. NYCHA management will be unable to say they have not heard
about a certain issue if they have received three letters from you about it.
Grievances
There are some issues that cannot be resolved by the
management office. Where a tenant has a dispute regarding an action or failure
to act by NYCHA which adversely affects the tenant’s rights, duties, welfare or
status, the tenant has a right to pursue the grievance process. The tenant can
ask orally or in writing for the housing manager to informally address the
dispute. If the tenant is not satisfied with the manager’s decision, the tenant
can request in writing within ten days that the matter be reviewed by the
Borough Management Office. If a tenant does not agree with the Borough
Management Office decision, the tenant can make a written request for a hearing
before an impartial hearing officer within ten days.
Add
Family Members to the Household
Unlike in private apartments, when a tenant wants a
family member to live with her permanently, she must get permission from NYCHA
first. To do this, the tenant must request the form to add a family member from
her management office which is filled out by the tenant of record and the
family member. Within 60 days of submitting the form with all requested
documentation, the housing manager will either approve or disapprove the
request. If the request is disapproved, the tenant may pursue the grievance
process. If approved, the family member can move in.
If the tenant of record ever vacates the apartment
or dies, the family member will get a lease in her name if she lived with the
tenant of record for a full year after being approved.
Get
Repairs
Tenants have complained about how difficult it can
be to get repairs fixed in their NYCHA apartments. The first step is to notify
your management office about conditions you have and how they are affecting you.
Follow up in writing to document complaints you have made to the management
staff and ask that they follow up by a certain date. NYCHA tenants should also
call 718-707-7771 to make complaints, to schedule emergency repairs and to get
an emergency work ticket. MFY has a fact sheet on how to obtain repairs in
NYCHA housing (see www.mfy.org to “Get the Facts”).
If after taking these steps, NYCHA has failed to
make repairs, you can take NYCHA to court. There is a special proceeding in
Housing Court called an HP Action, which allows tenants to sue their landlords
when they fail to make repairs.
Request
Reasonable Accommodations
If there are things you are required to do as a
tenant but cannot do because of your disability, fair housing laws allow you to
request a reasonable accommodation. A reasonable accommodation is basically an
exception in rules, policies, practices, or services when such an exception may
be necessary to afford a person with a disability the equal opportunity to use
and enjoy a dwelling. MFY has fact sheets on the issue of reasonable
accommodations (see www.mfy.org to “Get the Facts”).
Reasonable accommodations can be helpful to assist a
tenant in complying with her obligations. Residents can also contact the
Services for the Disabled Unit at NYCHA at 212-306-3652 regarding reasonable
accommodation requests.
Report
Discrimination
Where a tenant believes she has been the subject of
unlawful discrimination because of a disability or other reason, the tenant has
several options. If a tenant wants to work with NYCHA to report discrimination,
she can contact NYCHA’s Office of Employment and Fair Housing Investigations at
212-306-4468 or can visit 250 Broadway, 27th floor, New York, NY
10007.
Access
Resources
Where
a tenant has a possible legal issue regarding her NYCHA apartment, she should
remember there are several resources where information, advice or even legal
help may be available. It is important to communicate issues and problems with
your housing manager, who then may be required to make referrals and connect
tenants with services where necessary. Also, reaching out to organizations like
MFY as early as possible will enable the tenant to strategize about potential
issues, to obtain advocacy regarding problems and may even help to prevent
eviction from her NYCHA apartment.
The
above are just a few tips to keep in mind with respect to living in NYCHA
housing. By being aware of your responsibilities, invoking rights and accessing
services, mental health consumers who live in public housing can continue to
enjoy and maintain their affordable homes.
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