By Michael Gottlieb, BS
Healing the Tension Around My Heart
I am the son of Private Benjamin Gottlieb who was killed in action July 23, 1944 in St. Lo, Normandy during World War II.
Can I use the temporary leg paralysis I experienced when I visited my mom as a “trigger” to get deeper into primaling? Just how severe are my wounds?
“Healing is available. The MS, the rheumatoid arthritis; the stiffness and rigidity of your knees and legs when you attempt to walk, the shallow breathing, your 'blindness' or inability to sense what is going on around you are all symptoms of your wounds. My son Michael, the repression of the memories of what transpired when you were alone with your mother after your dad was killed—1944 through 1947—these wounds are extremely hurtful and extremely painful. You were a needy, vulnerable baby and small child and the deprivation of basic nurturing, basic mothering needs is catastrophically hurtful and painful. The body does not release its memories quickly or easily. The repression is a fundamental survival mechanism without which you would have perished as a baby. Your leg paralysis when you visited your mother is a symptom of how deep and painful these repressed memories are. To lose the use of your legs when you visited your mother indicates the devastating wounds you suffered.” And Dr. Janov’s statement that the body titrates the amount of pain one can remember in any one primal session is accurate. “You can only access what you can handle. It is a process that requires dedication, persistence, consistence and determination.” That is why Dr. Janov indicated that primal therapy is not for dilettantes.
The movies “Citizen Kane” and “Home of the Brave” indicate just how painful and devastating it is for an individual to suffer trauma and hurt and not to access those memories and feelings directly as well as the consequences when those mental wounds go unhealed.
Would I describe primal therapy as a blessed healing tool? It hurts, but it hurts good. It heals deeply wounded individuals. It frees individuals from a lifetime of pain, hurt, handicaps, addictions, etc.
Was my head-banging during my primals another symptom of catastrophic wounds? It was the mind-body unity trying to cope with catastrophic hurt and wounding.
I seek to stop struggling with skeptics and non-believers. What say you? Present information and then move on. Struggle with your parents in primals.